BLACK SCREEN

CUT TO:

EXT. ITALIAN RESTAURANT   NIGHT

Seen through the glass, diners eat at this chic Italian restaurant in downtown Manhattan.

INT. RESTAURANT   NIGHT

SAM GOLDMAN is on a first date with AMANDA.  He's 32, average height and build, dresses semi-fashionably, if a little behind the fashion curve. He's attractive, but no pretty boy by any stretch of the imagination. Amanda is moderately attractive, but her high fashion sense makes her look better then she should.

AMANDA

So what do you do again? Andy said something with computers?

Sam sits upright and puts one hand on his stomach. He then takes out a bottle of pills, opens it and chugs a few down with a nice big glass of water.

AMANDA (CONT'D)

Are you OK?

SAM

I'm fine.

AMANDA

Are you sick or

SAM

Nothing. It's just some acid reflux with a touch of IBS.

AMANDA

IBS? Is that serious?

SAM

Only when I go to the bathroom.

Sam LAUGHS. Amanda doesn't.

Sam (CONT'D)

So, you work in ?

AMANDA

Sales.

(beat)

It's not what I want to do long-term but, you know, it's good for now.

SAM

Uh huh.

Sam continues to eat, engrossed in his food. Amanda is finished eating.

AMANDA

Andy said you also write?

SAM

I'm working on a screenplay.

AMANDA

Everyone I know seems to be working on a screenplay. What's it about?

The WAITER approaches their table.

WAITER

Would you like to hear our dessert specials?

SAM

I'll have the cheesecake and a coffee.

The waiter looks at Amanda.

AMANDA

I'm OK.

SAM

And make sure the coffee is brought out the same time as the dessert.

The waiter turns towards Sam.

WAITER

Whatever you like, sir.

Sam, still eating, continues as the waiter walks away.

SAM

I'm serious. I want them brought out together.

The waiter stops and turns back to Sam.

WAITER

I think I understand, sir.

SAM

(calmly)

See, if the coffee comes out too early, I'll finish it before the dessert comes. If it comes out too late . . . what's the point?

WAITER

Yes sir. I understand.

SAM

Shouldn't be a problem. Just bring 'em out together.

The waiter ROLLS his eyes and walks away. Amanda looks at Sam, STUNNED.

AMANDA

What was that all about?

SAM

What was what all about?

Sam takes a drink of water.

AMANDA

I used to wait tables in college. Sometimes the dessert isn't ready when the coffee is. A lot of times people just want their coffee first.

SAM

Well, maybe if the waiter didn't bring our dishes out at different times, this could have been avoided.

AMANDA

Are you OK?

SAM

So, do you want to go out for a drink or something . . .

AMANDA

I have to be up early tomorrow.

SAM

Yeah, me too. Up and at em. That's me.

The waiter comes out with the coffee, but no dessert.

WAITER

Enjoy your coffee sir.

SAM

(he whispers to Amanda)

No tip.

INT. SAM'S OFFICE   HALLWAY - - MORNING

Sam strolls in to work forty minutes late, with dark sunglasses on. Sam passes a conference room, where CO-WORKERS are celebrating someone's birthday. Sam rolls his eyes in disapproval. The generic looking office has conference rooms surrounding the perimeter with rows of cubicles in-between.

Sam then passes by his boss, GREG, who looks at his watch. Greg is in his late thirties, has a receding hair line and dresses like an aging slacker, with his Converse sneakers and blue jeans.

GREG

A little late today?

SAM

Subway construction.

GREG

Really? I didn't hear anything on the news about it. Which line?

SAM

Yeah, the K line.

GREG

I don't think there is a K line.

Sam continues on to his desk. Greg looks on in angst.

INT. SAM'S OFFICE   SAM'S COMPUTER SCREEN - - LATER THAT MORNING

Sam is creating a PowerPoint presentation.

Sam overlays an image of two happy co-workers, one white, one black onto a generic-looking PowerPoint template.

Then he types the headline, "Diversity in the Workplace."

INT. SAM'S OFFICE   SAM'S DESK - - CONTINUOUS

Sam types away at his computer with LARGE headphones on. Greg stops by Sam's desk.

GREG

Can I speak to you for a minute?

Sam doesn't hear him. Greg taps on Sam's shoulder. Sam turns around and takes off his headphones.

SAM

I was listening to the new Radiohead.

GREG

That's great Sam. Can you come with me?

SAM

Sure.

INT. SAM'S OFFICE   CONFERENCE ROOM - - CONTINUOUS

Sam and Greg walk into an empty conference room. Sam sits down. Greg sits down across from Sam.

SAM

What's up?

GREG

Hey, did you see the new girl in aisle 6?

SAM

Not yet.

GREG

The things I would do to her.

(beat)

You want a cupcake?

Greg offers Sam a cupcake.

SAM

I'm good.

GREG

Can't let it go to waste.

Greg bites into a frost-covered cup cake.

GREG (CONT'D)

Well, let's get down to business.

(Greg says with food still in his mouth)

As you know the company is restructuring to optimize productivity. We've all been tallying our hours into a database and we've found some redundancies.

SAM

Right.

GREG

We just can't have two people doing the same thing. It wouldn't make any sense. You understand that. Right? We'd look like a bunch of idiots.

Greg CHUCKLES a little. He sips his coffee.

SAM

Uh, huh.

GREG

And you're always talking about that screenplay you're working on. Maybe it's time to move on that.

SAM

It's not finished yet.

GREG

This is the part I hate most about my job.

Greg grabs a napkin and cleans his hands.

SAM

Which part is that Greg?

Greg takes out an envelope and hands it to Sam.

SAM (CONT'D)

An early Christmas card?

GREG

Stacy is in the other room for your exit interview.

SAM

I've worked at this company for almost 5 years.

GREG

That's a lot in today's economy. You've had a good run.

SAM

A good run?

(beat)

How about my Smithfield Power Point presentation? No one does better Power Point than me. You know that.

GREG

I know I can get someone straight out of college to do the same thing for half as much money and with half the amount of grief I've put up with from you for the last five years.

SAM

What are you talking about?

GREG

I didn't want to get into this.

SAM

No, let's get into this.

GREG

Well, for one thing you strut in here late everyday with a different excuse. One day it's the hot water, next day the train doesn't work.

SAM

You think it's a coincidence that on the same day my plumbing doesn't work, the train is twenty minutes late.

GREG

What's the connection Sam?

SAM

They want you to pay the plumber, take the cab to work. Someone's benefiting here. OK. And I'm the one getting screwed.

Greg rolls his eyes in befuddlement.

GREG

Now, if you need a recommendation . . .

SAM

Right. Well, maybe we can celebrate someone's birthday instead. I mean, that's what this office has turned into. All we do is celebrate birthdays, engagements, retirements. Do you know how many cupcakes I've had to eat this week?

GREG

Company morale is important, as we learned from our last employee satisfaction survey which you choose not to fill out.

SAM

With all the money you spend on parties, I could stay on for a few more years.

(beat)

Ahh, fuck this.

Sam gets up and STORMS out of the conference room.

GREG

Sam.

EXT. SAM'S OFFICE - - CONTINUOUS

Sam walks by some CO-WORKERS celebrating someone's birthday.

INT. BOOKSTORE - DAY

Sam and Andy walk through a used bookstore. Andy, Sam's best friend, is the same age as Sam, 32. He's a social worker with average good looks, has short, styled hair and a higher sense of fashion than Sam.

Andy stops and picks up a book titled "History of Western Civilization." He puts it down.

ANDY

Seriously, I don't know what I would do in your situation. With all that debt. It's fucking scary.

SAM

Yeah, well. There are worse things that could happen.

ANDY

I mean, you're what, 33, with no real career path in sight. You're not getting any younger.

SAM

Hey, I have other things I can fall back on.

ANDY

(Andy laughs)

What, that screenplay? My grandma's working on a screenplay too. Should I stop worrying about her?

SAM

My agent says I just need some minor revisions.

ANDY

You call that guy an agent? He works out of his basement. He's like fifty years old and still lives with his mom. He has no other clients. That should tell you something.

SAM

Forget it. What do you know?

INT. PORNOGRAPHY STORE   CONTINUOS

Andy PICKS UP at a XXX video called, "Caution: Your Ass is in Danger.

ANDY

I don't know Sam. Maybe it's for the best.

Andy and Sam walk casually past a wall of SEXUAL TOYS. Andy brings his video up to the MICKEY, the sales clerk behind the counter.

ANDY (CONT'D)

How's it going Mickey?

MICKEY

You drop em, we mop em.

Andy gives some money to Mickey. Mickey gives back some change.

MICKEY (CONT'D)

Come back on Monday. We got an all new Ass-Buster's series coming in.

EXT. PORNOGRAPHY SHOP   CONTINUOUS

Sam and Andy walk out onto 42nd Street to a crowded street of TOURISTS and down and out looking NEW YORKERS. Andy slyly hands a few rolled twenties to a SHADY LOOKING CHARACTER who quickly gives Andy a bag of WEED as he grasps the drug dealer's hand in a handshake.

ANDY

Thanks man.

Andy LIGHTS UP a cigarette.

ANDY (CONT'D)

As a Social Worker and your friend, I just think you need some serious help. Have you thought about therapy?

SAM

Psychotherapy is a scam. OK. They're working with the pharmaceutical companies peddling prescription drugs. Do you know how much Pfizer made last year alone on anti-depressants?

ANDY

How much?

SAM

I don't know, but it was a lot.

ANDY

Am I in on the conspiracy too Sam?

SAM

You can be in on it without even knowing it. That's how deep it runs.

Andy puts his hand on Sam's shoulder.

ANDY

Sam, I think you're losing it.

INT. BANK   LOBBY - - DAY

Sam waits on a long line. He looks at his check and starts SHAKING his head.

SAM

Jesus Christ.

Sam turns to an ELDERLY WOMAN standing next to him.

SAM (CONT'D)

You're costing me over $300 a month, ok. Think of that the next time you go to the doctor for an ingrown toenail.

The elderly woman is STARTLED by Sam, but chooses to ignore him.

INT. BANK   TELLER WINDOW - - A FEW MOMENTS LATER

Sam hands the check to the uninterested TELLER. The Teller counts out Sam's money and hands it over to him.

SAM

You may not see me for a while. I just got fired from my fuckhead of a boss.

TELLER

Next please.

EXT. BANK   CITY STREET - - DAY

Sam stands in front of his bank, with his wad of cash. He looks across the street at the OTB then looks down at his money.

INT. OTB   TELLER'S WINDOW - - DAY

Sam lays out $500 to the teller.

SAM

To win on number six in the 5th.

The teller types in his bet and hands Sam a ticket.

INT. SAM'S APARTMENT   MORNING

Sam walks into his messy apartment. The answering machine is BLINKING. Sam hits PLAY.

MACHINE

Hi, this is Manhattan Visa calling to verify some charges . . .

Sam hits the NEXT button.

MACHINE (CONT'D)

Hi, this is Chase MasterCard calling, we haven't received payment in three months and have sent your account . . .

Sam hits the ERASE button, and puts his hand on his stomach in discomfort. He opens a bottle of pills and swallows them without water. A KNOCK is heard at the door. Sam opens the door. FREDDIE stands there, like a rock. Freddie is an Irish ex-fighter. He stands a little over six feet, has a big build and his face is all crooked from having his nose broken one too many times.

FREDDIE

Sam.

SAM

Freddie.

Freddie PUNCHES Sam in the stomach. Sam keels over in pain.

FREDDIE

How's it going Sam?

SAM

I'm good.

Freddie walks into Sam's apartment.

FREDDIE

Can you tell? I lost some weight.

SAM

You look good. How much?

Sam says, holding his stomach in pain.

FREDDIE

Around 20 pounds. It was one of those, ya know, low carb diets. My wife said I'm getting too fucking fat.

SAM

Like she's one to talk.

FREDDIE

You try having three kids. So how fat you get.

(beat)

I'm thirsty. Got anything to drink?

Sam walks to the fridge and offers a beer to Freddie.

FREDDIE (CONT'D)

What are you doing? There's like twelve carbohydrates in that thing. Just give me a glass of water.

Sam gets a DIRTY GLASS from his kitchen sink and fills it up with water and hands it to Freddie. Freddie looks around Sam's apartment.

FREDDIE (CONT'D)

What, you just come back from some "cocktails"?

(Freddie says sinisterly as he cocks his head to the right)

Freddie drinks the glass of water in one gulp.

FREDDIE (CONT'D)

So, what do you have for me?

SAM

You're not gonna believe it, but I just lost my job so I  . . .

FREDDIE

Let's go here guys.

(Freddie calls to two guys outside Sam's apartment)

I figured you'd give me some excuse.

TONY and FRANK, two young underlings, enter Sam's apartment. Freddie walks over to Sam's TV.

FREDDIE (CONT'D)

What is this, 32 inches?

SAM

36 inches.

FREDDIE

$300. Let's go guys.

The two guys pick up the TV and carry it to the hallway.

SAM

That cost me $900. It has the comb filter with the composite video inputs.

FREDDIE

Fine, $350.

Freddie picks up a coffee maker.

FREDDIE (CONT'D)

I like this. Is this brushed aluminum?

SAM

Yeah, and it cost me $100.

FREDDIE

Depreciation is a bitch, it's now worth $40.

SAM

That's the Cuisinart Brewmaster 500. Give me a break here. It has a triple filter. You'll shit yourself when you see how good it tastes.

Freddie goes to his Bang and Olufsun stereo.

FREDDIE

Now this is nice.

SAM

That's a Bang and Olufson. OK. That whole system cost me $3000.

FREDDIE

When did you have money for this?

Freddie plays with it.

SAM

I went on a streak at the Taj last year.

FREDDIE

It's now worth $500.

Freddie picks up Sam's laptop.

FREDDIE (CONT'D)

Tony. How much these things go far?

TONY

Maybe two grand, new.

SAM

Let me copy some files off that first.

FREDDIE

Files?

SAM

This, ah, screenplay I'm working on.

FREDDIE

What's it about?

SAM

Come on. Let me copy the file.

Freddie hands it to Tony.

FREDDIE

Maybe this'll be an incentive.

SAM

Freddie. Come on.

Freddie quickly walks over to Sam.

FREDDIE

I have a job to do. OK.

SAM

Ok.

(beat)

I'm just saying. If you let me copy the file . . .

Freddie PUNCHES Sam in the stomach and Sam falls to the ground. Freddie bends down and picks up Sam's by grabbing the back of his head.

FREDDIE

I gotta tell ya. I have so much more energy on this diet.

(beat)

Now, I don't have to tell you what happens when I come back, do I?

SAM

I'll have something for you. I promise.

Freddie DROPS Sam's head and stands up. He looks down on Sam.

FREDDIE

How's that stomach of yours?

SAM

Never better.

FREDDIE

Say hi to your dad for me.

(Freddie says to his underlings)

Quicken this up. I'm double-parked.

Sam lies on the floor.

SAM

OK. Take care Freddie. See you soon.